06/12 Peterborough Part 2

Peterborough United 3 Grimsby Town 2
06 Dec 2003, FA Cup Round 2

The Poshies had buzzed, hinting at danger, but without any substance. Then a big block of substance came crashing down upon the Town heads. Pressure, pressure, five minutes of solid attacking from Peterborough. Crosses, flicks, tricks, constant attacks forcing Crane to head, block, hook, block, head again as the tricky little strikers started to infiltrate the spaces between full backs and centre backs. Newton crossed, the ball skimmed off a Town head and out towards Farrell, at the right corner of the penalty area. A thwacking great volley flew into Crane’s body, down onto the pitch, and hooked away as all in blue claimed a penalty. How could it be a penalty? A simple grasp of geometry would tell you the ball must, could only, have come off Crane’s.....ribs! There’s a bit of an angle at the bottom of the ribs, isn’t there and it must have come off that. It’s the only explanation I can find.

The pressure ratcheted up and Town were not helped by their inability to hoof clearances very far and, especially, the referee giving a series of free kicks to Peterborough that were contentious in the extreme. And let’s not forget the linesman who was an unwilling flagger. In one way this is a tribute to Fry, for his strikers have perfected the art of being offside but not "active", or at least not active until the cross comes in and, hey presto, they are unmarked, but no longer offside. And from one such occurrence Town should have conceded a goal. A coupe of attacks repulsed back to the middle, McKenzie offside inside the Town penalty area, as the ball was played out to the right wing, behind Barnard. Newton bedazzled and bewitched Be-Barnard, dinking a cross from the bye-line into the middle of the goal. McKenzie, perhaps six yards out, unmarked, the goal a-gaping, a goal awaiting, carefully placed a header against the inside of the far post. The ball spun back and Anderson spectacularly hooked the ball over the bar for a corner. The corner was rubbish, by the way, for all those wondering what happened next.

After about 22 minutes Peterborough were still having a jolly inside the Town penalty area. Was it a corner, was it a free kick, who can remember? Whatever it was it was only half cleared. An appeal for offside was ignored as the ball was headed out towards Jevons, half way inside the Town half. Arber got there first and lobbed the ball towards the penalty area with a big bloke heading it out to their right wing. The Welsh waddler wobbled over towards the ball as it was crossed into the near post. Clarke, about eight yards out with Onuora behind him, rose upon his tan boots (tan!), raising both arms towards his chin. With his back to goal, Clarke appeared to nudge the ball over his shoulder with is right arm. The Town players shouted "handball". The Town fans shouted "handball". CLARKE turned to his left and, from the edge of the 6 yards box, lifted the ball towards goal, the ball creeping under the crossbar as the offside McKenzie ran behind Davison. Is there some rule we don’t know about in second division football? What is it about handball? You don’t have to speculate about the Town fans’ fury, as well as the players. A very soft goal, but probably an illegal one. You’ll have to watch it on super-slo-mo to decide whether Clarke did handle it.

Ah, the Town response. Within a couple of minutes Town had been awarded a free kick about 25 yards out, in the centre. Was it really a free kick? Who knew with this ref? Peterborough’s wall took an eternity to line up, and then we had half a minute of playground slap and tickles as Edwards stood at the end of the wall and was promptly shoved about. Who would take it? Barnard? Hamilton? Campbell? Ah-ha, I see white boots, it’s Mr Jevons! A slow curler gliding towards Tyler, who shuffled left, then suddenly the custard custodian stopped at the foot of his post and twisted right, palming the ball across the line. JEVONS had scored.

"There’s a man burning messages on his chest over there".
"This game needs a rocket up its backside"
"So have Town deferred their tax, or just not paid it?".
"I wish we’d sponsored Edwards instead of Hamilton".
"You have a concerned eyebrow".