We Are Chavs

By: Chris Smith
Date: 29/03/2010

THE Devil may well wear Prada but the Scunts most definitely wear Oxfam was my reflection as I boarded the Trans Pennine Express at Doncaster this morning and managed to enter a carriage inhabited by what looked like failed experiments in genetic modification.

Unfortunately, my trip to Bramall Lane (to wish the Blades to victory) coincided with the great annual away game for our currently more successful but undeniably bandwagon jumping neighbours. I don’t say rivals as that would give them an unbecoming status. Whilst I accept we will most likely be three divisions below them next season, they will not be a bigger club than us in the long run. Phew, I feel better for saying that.

A few of the travellers tunelessly came out with "We are chavs, we are chavs, we are chavs..." Well thanks for that lads, I would never have guessed. A few had graduated from Bass Shandy to cocktails (or half pint bottles of Carlsberg) when any self respecting boozer on a train going to a football game drinks Stella by the large can at a bare minimum. I was surprised to see South Yorkshire Police videoing them as they came off Sheffield station, before realising it was probably comedy material for their next office party.

Enough of the bitterness. Well, for the moment anyway. I’d picked up my friend’s lad at Meadowhall to see if his team could reignite their bid for the play offs with this 1215 kick off (for reasons I still haven’t fathomed) The crowd looked as though it would be thin as we had a look around the ground and club shop before going in to the Valad stand in the corner adjacent to the away end.

Whilst Scunny had a fair following, it was only a 45 mile trip for them and the numbers were probably swelled by the curiosity of seeing what a) a city and b) a decent ground looked like. The atmosphere however, was flat. The game had that aura of non event all over it. Whilst the Blades had earned a good point at Cardiff in midweek, given the gap between them, a win would have helped them make up some ground in the play offs. Scunny meanwhile, were two wins clear of a relegation spot.

We had mixed feelings about who should go down from the Championship. Matthew would like the grunters (pigs/Wednesday) to go down. I think it would be better if Palace went with Plymouth and Peterborough (you know the big big club that got promoted last year) so that they were properly rewarded for going into administration. I know, I should have said I wanted Scunny to go down but I’ve found that financial cheating overrides any ill feeling towards that team, whoever they are, down the M180.

I warn you now that there is very little match report as the game was a real shocker. Do you know my automatic grammar checker has indicated that last sentence should read "were a real shocker"? Even the computer is a Yorkie now for chuff’s sake.

The report continues in Part 2

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