21/10 Notts County Part 2

By: Tony Butcher
Date: 22/10/2003

THE goalkeeper and defender had an argument over the garden fence about whose cat had dug up the newly planted winter pansies.

Grimsby Town 2 Notts County 0 21 Oct 2003, Nationwide League Division 2 Anderson zooming out to McDermott, a surge, a firm pass to Boulding, a mighty chest on, into the area, McDermott almost in, a desperate sliding hack out for another Town corner. More corners, more raiding down the right, Campbell twisting, turning, spinning past the notional marker. Campbell thwacked in a low shot and the ‘keeper scooped the ball away from the near post for another corner. The corner was played short to Anderson who slid past a defender and, from an extremely tight angle near the corner of the penalty area, nearly obliterated the ‘keeper with a tremendous nuclear explosion. The ball ricocheted off the keeper’s chest and went out, with just one bounce, for a throw in near the corner flag. Wait, there’s more. More wizardry and dribblery down the right saw Campbell, near the touchline, drag a pass back towards goal. The goalkeeper raced off his line and smothered the ball as Boulding and a defender stretched forward. Boulding looped the loop, spinning over the top of the ‘keeper, whilst the defender lay in a heap. The rhythm of the game was broken, and County swept forward and managed to actually get inside the Town penalty area once, but were miles off side, so sit down again, relax, the traffic flowed towards Cleethorpes again. An endless procession of floats and marching bands, wowing the crowd, simply by waving gaily as they strolled towards the County goal. Groves was manically clapping again, which encouraged the Pontoon into action. Town were awarded another free kick (two in one game, unheard of) on the left and Daws ambled forward, with Platt "marking". Daws walked past Platt and Barnard curled a deep cross to about 8 yards out beyond the far post. Daws stretched forward and steered a right foot volley a yard or so wide, as Platt watched, perhaps perplexed by a new fangled foreign idea in football, that thing they call shooting. Twenty three extremely pleasurable minutes of dashing cavalier football had passed, but no goal. Yet. Patience, patience, that’s what’s required. A bit of hum-drummery down the right and concentration was lost, gazes gazed towards the Humber What a big bright ship, what? Campbell, on the touchline about 30 yards out, snapped, crackled and popped a lofted pass over the defence in the general direction of Boulding. Mildenhall, summoning his goalkeeping powers and glowing slightly from his toes, came off his line to pluck the ball off the turf as it dropped, about 8 yards out to the left of his goal. Boulding slowed down and Mildenhall did a passable, and much appreciated, impression of Paul Rees in 1995. Whoops, he missed the ball, effectively nutmegging himself. BOULDING nipped around and knocked the ball in one legged, as Mildenhall clutched his leg, like a desperate spinster infatuated with the local bohemian troubadour. Don’t we just love second division goalkeepers. Click. Someone turned off the electricity, for Town just stopped. Campbell stopped whizzing down the wing, Hamilton was less present then before, Daws took a knock on his ankles and sat deep, and there was no movement. Static, complacent, Town ceased to use the full backs as the starting point of attacks, retreating into punting upfield, usually towards Boulding.

Grimsby Davison McDermott Crane Edwards Barnard Campbell Hamilton Daws Anderson Boulding Onuora   Subs Cas 83 mins Mansaram 89 mins Jevons Young Pettinger   Attendance 4,274   Referee Lee Mason (Lancashire)   Division Two League Table Reports/Fixtures Squad Stats Top Scorers Previews Predict-o-Meter   Man of the Match Vote for your Man of the Match Your Name (optional) Your Email Address (optional) Your Man of the Match Pick a player Davison McDermott Crane Edwards Barnard Campbell Hamilton Daws Anderson Cas Onuora Mansaram Boulding Nominations count towards the Player Of The Month shortlist.

Davison had no one to throw to, and when they did get the ball the full backs had no-one to pas to, except Crane. And that just meant the hoof was delayed for one pass. The period up to the goal had been very easy for the Town defence, the only hint at calamity being when the ball was near Crane, who seems intent on becoming the new Lever. It may look to the causal viewer as though he’s taken a huge swipe and missed the ball, but it’s really skill that can only be mastered through hours of hard work on the training ground. He times the swing of his left boot such that the ball then bounces off his right boot, up onto his backside, and back towards Davison. It totally confuses the opposition, they just can’t see it coming! Bit like Our Tone really.

After 24 minutes County had a shot, their very first, and they got a smug, condescending cheer from the Town fans. How nice for them, we thought. Rubbish shot mind. A minute later Caskey wellied a shot from 20 yards that only just missed going over the roof of the Pontoon. More ironic applause. It gradually dawned on the languid locals that County were having more of the ball, that they were starting to pass to each other, regularly, in Town’s half, near Town’s goal, and that no stripey was challenging much. We watched ten minutes of Notts County manoeuvres, before they were ready for action. In the 35th minute Heffernan reduced the Pontoon to tears of laughter with a claim for handball as a McDermott back pass ballooned off his, yes Heffernan’s, back. Perhaps he was being a bit too literal with his interpretation of the back pass rule? Davison caught the ball as the Town fans choi-oiked the cheeky pup. Caskey pootled up to Davison and lifted the ball out of his hands and flipped it into the net. The referee gave Town a free kick and didn’t book Caskey. A minute later Heffernan received a throw in on the centre right of the Town penalty area with his back to goal. He twisted right, then left, before suddenly spinning and hooking a firm shot against the foot of Davison’s right hand post. Throats cleared. A minute later, with County crawling all over the Town penalty area like hungry little ants, Caskey was allowed to swagger forward. Chief Town culprit being Disco, who firstly failed to track back with a County player, letting him infiltrate the penalty area behind the defence, and then got in the way of McDermott, shinning the ball directly to Caskey. When about 25 yards out, and a similar position to Heffernan a minute earlier, Caskey slapped a swirling, dipping, arcing shot towards Davison’s top left hand corner. Ancient Aidan leapt across and clawed the ball away from the goal, with it dropping back towards an incoming forward. Davison, as he fell backwards, reached out, swiped his right arm around and flipped the ball wide of the post. Now that’s what I call goalkeeping. Now that wasn’t what I call defending.

As far as action goes, that was it, County pressed and pressurised but failed to get too close to Davison, whilst Town were ambling towards half time. There seemed little urgency and alarming disorganisation at the back, as the defence wandered out after clearances without paying attention to the County players. Hamilton just kept getting in the way, twice tackling Edwards as he was about to clear and once making a terrible hash of an intended back heel. He ended up frolicking like Eric Morecambe, bringing sunshine where there was previously darkness in the County attacks. Anderson faded from view, playing almost as an auxiliary left back for the last 10 minutes. McDermott and Campbell stayed at home. How very disappointing after the scintillating opening 20 minutes eh? But Notts County were far from poor, much better than, with every disrespect, the "likes of" Chesterfield, Colchester, Wycombe and Wednesday. Given time and space they were adequate, if a little lacking in pulling power upfront. They were a bit like Town were most of last season, not quite as good as the opposition, rather than bloomin’ awful. They used their 5-3-2 system well to expose the Town flanks and there was many a worrying moment as the pestered the Town defence.

Half time: Grimsby Town 1 Notts County 0

There you are then, there’s good and bad in everyone.

Stu's Half Time Toilet Talk "The ambulance men are wearing coats tonight. Is that some kind of code?". "The shoelaces stay broken until we lose". "I think it depends on the colour of the carpet". "Which game is Geoff Ford at today? Bury v Aldershot in 1987". "We should be four up, or losing. Or maybe drawing".

The report continues in the Second Half.

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